Happy Thanksgiving

The holidays are a time with family and friends.  It is a time for eating our favorite foods and catching up with news and events that have transpired over the past year in our families and lives of our loved ones. 

On Thanksgiving specifically, many of us try to take a moment to reflect and give thanks to God for the blessings of the past year.  This year we decided to have a big feast with all of our new family and Haitian friends. We will have about 50 people at the mission for lunch. 

We had a ministry give us a free turkey for our family.  What a huge blessing that is.  Turkeys here are hard to come by and very expensive to buy.  So early this morning I put the turkey in the oven and prepared the green beans and corn.  We will also bake a cake.  Very few Haitians have eaten cake and if so it is for a special occassion.  Ovens are very rare and it is hard to cook a cake on a fire with three rocks like they cook their rice and beans. 

We are also having rice and beans, fried plantains, haitian beet salad, potato salad, and fresh fruit.  It is going to be quite a spread.  I am going to explain our American Thanksgiving heritage and give each person a chance to share what they are thankful for.  I have heard many Haitians tell me that the reason we have turkey on Thanksgiving is because the first American's did not have anything to eat so they prayed and turkeys started falling out of the sky everywhere.  Sounds like a good story to me. 

Here are a few things I will be sharing that I am thankful for:

My family that I moved here with 18 months ago- Joy, Jacy, Judah, Josie, and Jaxon

For Luke being able to come and join us here this year

For Justice Kacia and the privilege to adopt her

For all of the kids that we have been able to give a home to- Kobe, Jeanmoi, Adelson, Uvensia, Jean Patrick, Wilna, Naica, and Kimberlie

For Daphne's diabetes getting controlled and doors beginning to open to get her to America for her eye surgery

For others that live and help at the mission like Colleen and her two twins Kristi and Krista, along with Grann- the little widow whose house was washed away in the flood

For our team of guys Dago, Wesner, Paul, Robbins, and Bazaleis and the girls that help us Mirlande, Mireille, Oranie, Joanne, Claredonge, and Dedette

For all our fisherman and the work God is doing in their lives and the changes we are seeing in their village

For all the over 70 kids we got to put in school this year 

For the many many friends that God has sent to visit us here from so many places in the US and Brazil

For the people back home that love us and continue to pray for us and let us know they are supportive of what we are doing down here

For God beginning a new work in my life to change me from being so selfish and unloving to beginning to see people the way He sees them- I have a LONG way to go though...but I am thankful for the journey

For brightness of the future and the great opportunities we know lie ahead and the grace we can trust in to help with the difficulties that come

I could go on and on.  I have so much to be grateful for here.  But we also have our precious older two children Logan and Megan in the US.  It is harder to say Thank you Lord for them being there when I want them with me here.  But we know God does all things well.

It is hard to say thank you Lord for my parents that are getting older and my dad having complications from diabetes and I am not there to help him.  I am not there to just sit and talk to him today on Thanksgiving after we get back from deer hunting like we used to do.  I won't have my mom's mashed potatoes or Joy's mom's banana pudding but we still say Thank you Lord because He does all things well. 

All of us have to make a choice today- we can choose to focus on the things we DON'T have or have lost this past year or we can allow our minds to meditate on our many blessings and be overwhelmed by the "goodness" of God.  I choose the latter.  I pray you will too.

Hurricanes, Snow Storms, and Lost Friends

Cold Feet-
What a crazy day.  I spent 16 hours yesterday getting from Montrouis to Indianapolis for a conference where I will be speaking and taking continueing education classes for my optometry license.  It turns out I lost, gave away, or in some other fashion disposed of any warm weather clothes I had in Haiti so I got to Indiana and discovered they are expecting snow and 20 degree nights and I have a Caribbean Joe t-shirt as my warmest clothes.  But in typical provisional manner, a good Christian friend who happens to live in Indiana hooked me up with a bunch of warm clothes so I am good. 

I will be in IN for the weekend with my 20 year old daughter Megan.  I had not seen her since last November so it was great meeting her in the airport here last night.  She flew over from GA to be with me at the conference this weekend.  Then I fly to NC for a few days for some meetings and finish up my CE at a meeting in Asheville next weekend.

Unfriendly Tomas-
Tomas strengthened to a tropical storm again last night and is projected to pass over Haiti as a hurricane tomorrow.  Joy and the kids are there and we live right on the coast.  It looks like Joy is going to close up the doors and windows and leave the house to go and spend a couple of days in the missionary team rooms at The Mission.  It will be cool to be there with the mission kids but also tough with Justice, Jaxon, Josie, Judah, Jacy, Jamoy, Jean Patrick, and the two special needs boys Kevin and Michelet all getting moved over there and set up.  We have been praying for a person to come and live at the mission to take care of Kevin and Michelet there since it is technically the children's home and we can have someone caring for them 24 hours each day even when we are not in town.  So Joy is working on getting them moved permanantly during this transition time.  Pray about that.

The biggest problem with a hurricane in Haiti is not just the wind.  The tents in PAP of course will be affected by the winds but the biggest issue is rain.  They are predicting as much as 15 inches of rain.  If that happens, there will be significant flooding and the risk of landslides.  The deforestation and subsequent silting in of the rivers has made flooding a major problem.  Our fisherman that we work with live near the river and many of them lost their homes in 2008 during Hannah.  At that time the river flooded all the way down past where we currently live and took away many homes and left hundreds with nothing.  The river flooded again a couple of months ago and washed away more homes.  We have several of our fisherman living in tents right now due to that flood.  It is a blessing that just before I left we were able to help Jean Beny rent a house and move out of his tent.  I am glad he will be in a house during this storm tomorrow and not a tent.  He loves Joy and is a precious part of our ministry.

Lost Friends-
Just when we starting thinking the cholera deal was pretty much behind us, we got a call this morning from one of our closest pastors and learned his wife died this morning.  She was working in the garden when the symptoms hit her and she died on the way down the mountain to the hospital.  Pastor Remy and his wife are the ones that came down the mountain with the gift of eggs to thank us for helping them get a horse.  Now he has all 7 of his children to care for alone.  He is trying to get her buried today.  Be praying for them.

The end of last week I got home to find one of our translators we use sitting in our yard crying.  He was holding a baby outfit in his hand.  Degraff's 18 month old baby had respiratory arrest and died and the family did not have the money to bury him.  We were able to help bury the baby but had very little means of consoling a hurting father.

So there is a quick update of what's happening.  We will keep you updated on the storm.  Thanks for your prayers and encouragement.  You can see updates on facebook

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=100001587051166

Who's Afraid of Frog Peepee?

It has been a while since I have had a good chance to sit down and blog and I don't really have one of those chances now but I wanted to update everyone on the cholera outbreak here.

We have had to stop buying fish from any of the guys in our group because of the fear of the people that the fish that live in the ocean go and drink the water that comes out of the rivers and so they can make you sick.  Our fisherman have just paid their money to put their kids all in school and now have no income because people are too afraid to buy fish. We do not have any cases here in Montrouis of contracted disease.  The little mission hospital where we have our eye clinic has had 4 die and have treated hundreds.  It is harder finding IV saline so keep that in your prayers. 

This is Haiti's first significant cholera outbreak in 50 years.  It is caused by a river in the Artibonite valley that became contaminated.  We have seen about 3000 cases reported with almost 300 deaths.  That is a terrible ratio even for a disease of this severity.  The lack of understanding by the people of the cause of the disease and even bigger...fear.  Fear killed many of the victims.  They were afraid to drink more water because they heard water is what made them sick...so they died of dehydration.  Tap tap drivers, local transportation, refused to carry passengers that were sick so they left them on the sides of the road to die...because they were afraid.  Many hospitals and workers were afraid to take in patients and work with them at the onset because they did not know the cause of the disease...so patients died outside the hospitals.  Fear is a powerful thing and a major part of life here in this little corner of reality.

People have some of the most irrational fears you can imagine.  They are so scared of frogs because if it peepees in your eyes you will go blind...tough one to disprove but they get so upset with me for picking up frogs.  Lucky for me, none have been able to pee in my eyes yet. 

People fear all sorts of things concerning the spirits and voodoo.  They fear many animals because it may be a lougau in disguise.  They fear zombies.  They fear witch doctors.  The fear upsetting the family spirits.  They fear dishonoring someone in power.  They fear the government due to past leaders indiscriminately killing dissenters.  They fear hunger.  They fear food they are not familiar with.  They fear a slight fever. 

But out of all the fears that affect the people here, the one that is the greatest risk for them is the fear that comfortable Americans have of being drawn out of their comfort zone.  The fear of millions of "Christians" that if they really give in to what God wants them to do to reach the world with His love, then He might send them to some crazy place like Haiti.  When the reality is that if we would just surrender fully to God, He is most likely to keep us exactly where He had already placed us, but use us more effectively to fullfill our deepest desires and impact the lives of people from our home town to the far reaches of the world's densest jungles.  But the fear that somehow God is going to demand something radical of us is a fear used by satan to keep us from really amounting to anything eternal.  The fear is so strong that it triggers our defense mechanisms in our minds that cause us to build up walls to reality.  We allow ourselves to be consumed by our surroundings in order to dull the sensation of reality.  The sensation that just possibly we have totally missed it.  Somehow we have convinced ourselves that our selfish, self serving, self helping, loveless, sacrificeless form of religion we inherited from our parents and perfected ourselves is somehow the Christianity described in the Bible. 

That fear is the most dangerous fear in the world.  More orphans, widows, homeless, starving, sick, helpless, and desperate souls die each year because of that fear than because of any fear I encounter here that we like to call "irrational".  You want to talk about irrational?  Is it rational to believe that a God who has ALL power in the universe and LOVES me more than I can comprehend could possibly devise a plan for me that is anything short of spectacularly amazing?  I wish the greatest fear of my friends back home was frog peepee.  Then maybe we could change the world.

Our greatest fear should be of the day we stand before a Holy God.  We will give account for every thought, every action, every dollar, and all of our skills.  I somehow don't think excuses like our kids are too small, our parents are aging now, when I get that raise we will give more, when we pay off some debt, if I could just hear from God, we're just waiting until we know for certain, I just don't feel "called", I just don't think this church is feeding me, I can't align myself with that pastor, that youth group is too culturally relevant, that church is not culturally relevant enough, etc. is going to pass when God asks why we would not obey the hundreds of instances in His word that He commands us to reach the world with His love.  If we all feared that day as much as the Haitians fear zombies we could take care of the millions of orphans in subsahara Africa that become prostitutes because we are not there to give them a home. Or the sick in India that die because they don't have access to antibiotics that cost 75 cents.  As I was typing this a man showed up from PAP crying.  He has interpreted for us before at crusades.  Degraff sat in my yard and cried as he explained that 3 days ago his 18 month old only son died of respiratory arrest and is in the morgue because he can't afford to have him buried.  At the same time Joy was walking and met a man from another village sitting by the road holding a dead baby.  The child died after leaving the hospital and the father had no money to get a tap tap to get back home.  The world is literally dying and we spend our days complaining about the lines in Walmart.


Update:


On a lighter note, Luke arrived here in Haiti 3 weeks ago.  He is doing great.  He is a 16 year old missionary and not just a missionary's kid.  He has already begun to have an impact on the people here.  He is working with the fisherman and has gotten involved in the basketball community here.  He is home schooling and doing well.  You can see the first episode of his video documentary by clicking the link below.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk-Zrm31OkY

We will try to keep folks updated about the cholera as things change.

Stuck Between a Rock and a Mango Tree

Roger, Gary, and Lifrans got caught at sea in the stormy weather we have had this week.  They were trying to get their little wooden fishing canoes to the beach where they store them when the waves really kicked up. 

Roger and Gary made it to our house but could not get past the reef to the area down the coast where they were headed.  We managed to pull their canoes ashore and secure them in our yard.  Which Jaxon loved because he thinks he owns them anyway.  He climbs in everytime they come up with fish.  Then I have to pull him out screaming and covered in the tar they use to water proof them to try to cut down on some of the leaking...I can't tell that it helps any.  So we stored Roger and Gary's canoes for a couple of days until the storm passed.  Lifrans was not so lucky.

As he tried to manuever past a point through the shallow reef that he had passed hundreds of times before, a large wave caught him and crashed him into the rocks.  His little wooden canoe shattered into pieces.  All of his lines and jugs and fishing equipment was tossed into the crashing waves.  Lifrans was picked up by another fisherman trying to get his canoe to safety as well.  Everything was lost.  Two days before the fishing season officially begins and he is at ground zero. 

So that is the story I learned of yesterday as everyone gathered for our weekly meeting with our 12 fisherman and 1 scribe in our economic development program.  We wanted 12 fisherman but none of them could write so we had a scribe join the group.  I spent the meeting talking about the things were we doing and the challenges and the great things that were happening.  I thought everyone was really getting into the depth of the business potential and how this was going to change the economic stability of Montrouis and the overall quality of life for their families.  But at the end of my sharing I asked for questions.  Finally Roger asked when I was going to follow through on my promise I had made several weeks ago to start teaching them all how to write their names... They all agreed and wanted me to start this week so they could all learn to write and sign their names and asked if I thought they could be taught to read a few things.  I was humbled beyond words.  How do you say no to a group of friends asking if you could take the time to teach them to write their names?

After the meeting was over the discussion turned back to Lifrans.  Everyone was disappointed to hear about the loss because they all could relate and they knew the implications.  But Lifrans, one of the most likable and hard working guys in the group, already had a plan.  He had found a guy who had a piece of wood for sale and had negotiated a good price of $1300 haitian (or $165 USD) for the wood and talked to Pierre who was not a "boss" canoe builder but had dug out canoes for several of our guys in the group in the past.  Pierre agreed to "dig" the canoe for $1000 haitian ($125 USD)  So nearly $300 was going to be needed just to get the canoe.  Then Lifrans has to find jugs and buy lines and hooks and everything else to get ready to fish.  And due  to bad weather, no one has been able to catch any fish in over 2 weeks.  So that is where I came into the picture.  As Lifrans was telling his tale, eventually all eyes turned to me.  They all wondered what I was going to do to help Lifrans get his fishing business back in the water.  Finally, Lifrans asked if I would at least go with him to look at the wood.

Today we had all of the guys in our group meet me at The Mission to pick out shoes for all of their kids that start school Monday.  These 31 kids are not in our sponsorship program because I know their fathers now have an income.  Instead I am just helping them get everything done on enrolling and buying the books and uniforms.  It was a great time.  After the shoe fitting party, the entire group joins in on our trip to see the wood. 

I had in my mind a little guy sitting in front of his little haitian shack on a big piece of mango log in his front yard ready to argue over a price.  Instead, Pierre, the carver, takes us into one of the few remaining patches of forest left in our zone.  After a brief walk through a familiar area of woods, he stops and points to a large mango tree and says "that's it".  That was not what I wanted to see.  One of the 2% of mango trees left standing in the entire country and now they are asking me to buy it so they can make a canoe.  The alternative is to say no and explain how mango trees are precious to the Haitian ecosystem and that conservation efforts are never going to succeed without making sacrifices...

Now let me tell you...to all of you tree hugger hyper-conservationists reading this...I ain't into that.  I can get on board with saving babies but not baby seals or spotted owls.  I never have been the activist type.  I would actually love watching the guy cut down the tree with a machete and then meticulously carve out a canoe day after day.  It is not about the "karma" or the feelings of the mango tree or making the spirits of nature angry. 

This was different.  I see the huge importance of mangoes to this culture.  You don't dare steal someone's mango.  It's like a capital offense.  Mangoes are called God's gift to poor people.  People plan their lives around the mango seasons.  But they have not seen that cutting down the mango trees is bad.  I have tried to fight the cutting of the trees to make charcoal.  That is the  main reason the trees are cut down and the roots dug up.  It is to make charcoal for cooking.  That is the main issue.  Not cutting down a few trees per year for canoes.  BUT, now that most have been cut down for charcoal, the canoe issue becomes more relevant.

In my gut I want to buy the mango tree... don't let them cut it down... then lend Lifrans the money to buy a fiberglass canoe- through my contacts in the U.S. and ship it down on the next container that comes in.  But there are several problems with that plan.  First, then EVERY guy in our group wants a fiberglass canoe.  Second, the container has weeks before it gets here and the season starts now.  Third, every person in Montrouis will try to sell me their mango tree that they are about to cut down if someone doesn't buy it quickly.  I could see me ending up with a whole forest of mango trees with little brass plaques that show the date they were saved from destruction.  I would be known as the nut case doctor with the mango tree sponsorship program. 

So as I sit here tonight trying to come up with the best plan for tomorrow, I think I will try to find someone who has a wooden canoe for sale and help Lifrans get it.  That at least buys me some time.  Then maybe we do try to start a system of getting canoes shipped down for the fisherman here.  Each mango tree canoe only lasts 5-6 seasons if it is a good one.  Many only last 2-3.  Who knows.  But I am glad that I am here to get to help Lifrans figure it out.  He is my friend.  He is a quiet guy with a firm handshake and I know that tonight he is thinking that tomorrow I will have the answers to help him out of this dilema.  That is where my faith comes in.  I don't have all the answers that these guys think I have.  I don't always know what to do.  But I know my God has a plan and that He is never confused by rocks and mango trees. 

Hold on There Junior

He can't read or write.  He does not even know how to spell his name by himself.  But then again Junior is one of the twelve men in our fishing program, and only one of them CAN spell his own name- we had to let a non-fisherman join the program because we needed someone in the program that could write.  Junior is in his late 20's and although he has absolutely no front teeth, his smile is contagious.

Junior met me in my yard when I got home from Port-Au-Prince yesterday.  I knew it was not to get paid for the catch of the day because I pay them once a week now for that.  He was there just to see me.  To make sure I had a safe trip home...AND to ask for a favor.  Junior knows I am going to the U.S. for 4 days next week to speak at a meeting in Texas and he wanted me to buy something for him.  He wants me to buy him a portable DVD player to give to his kids for Christmas.  Now last year Junior could not pay for his kids to go to school.  He did not know where his next meal would come from if the fishing was bad.  He lives in a tiny little shack with no electricity and no running water.  He has 2 rooms and a little outside hut for the kitchen.  His net worth in U.S. dollars would probably be about $100 because he owns a wooden dugout canoe that could be sold if necessary.  Now he is asking me to buy a DVD player for him.  But he is not asking me to buy it with my money, he has the money to buy it through the fishing program.

Now I know what you are thinking.  I should councel Junior on how foolish a financial decision it would be to buy a DVD player before he has next years rent saved up for his house- we are setting aside money every week to cover that but he has not reached his full amount.  Or maybe after he has 3 months worth of income saved to help in times when the fish are not there.  Those are legitimate arguments but you have to understand where Junior is coming from.

Three months ago Junior would never have dreamed he could afford a DVD player.  Everyone here wants a portable DVD player.  The people that have one usually had it sent down from a very loving relative in the states to a family member that is still here.  It is known by everyone in the neighborhood as they gather around the little screen to watch 50 cent bootleg copies of old movies.  Now all of a sudden Junior has paid for all of his kids to go to school this year.  The first year he could put them ALL in school in one year.  He has money for them to eat plenty every single day.  For the last 2 months they have not had to miss a single meal.  He has a plan to pay for his rent without having to beg for additional time.  In Junior's mind he is loaded.  People in town have commented on how Junior has actually bought all of his kids shoes for school already.

The fishing program that we have started has given hope to a group of people that had very little hope at all.  Seasonal peasant fisherman.  Illiterate.  Uneducated.  No one in the group has an identification card which is necessary to get a legitimate job or buy land or anything else.  Many of them have never had a birth certificate.  They have just always caught fish to live with the same techniques that have been used for 200 years.  They are from the zone around the river that floods.  They live on the land that no one else wants because it is too dangerous to live there.  They go out fishing and if they aren't successful, they go home and feed their kids the remaining bait.  These are not "men of promise".

But now.  Now they have an income.  They have security.  They have a future.  They have hope.  I have never seen the reality of the transforming power of hope like I have seen in this group of fisherman.  I praise God he chose me to do this job.  Everyone of the fisherman in our group will see all of their kids go to school this year for the first time ever.  Every one of them has a financial plan to pay for their rent on their house.  Some are putting roofs on their houses that have leaked for years.  Some are buying pots for their wives to be able to cook easier.  All of them are beginning to believe that they themselves are a viable part of the community.  There are still a couple that are just still trying to figure out how to get every last dime possible out of me before this ride is over.  I understand that and do not question it.  I believe that if the roles were reversed, my skeptical mind would probably have me in that category too.  But for most of the group, they truly believe that their hard work and determination is paying off.  God is blessing them.  And they are already starting to give back.

There is a school in their zone.  It is ran by a fisherman as the headmaster.  A smart guy that is educated beyond his peers in the industry.  The school needs a lot of work.  Many of the benches are in pieces.  The preschool section was flooded by the river and the silt has not been dug out and cleaned.  The tin roof leaks and is about to fall in.  The teachers are the ones that the other schools would not hire because they do not have degrees.  It is the school that the fisherman try to send one or two of their kids to every other year or so but not something to be proud of.

The school is lacking a maren- a "God Father".  Someone to back the school and support it.  Usually that job is the job of a "blanc".  A white person.  A missionary or a visiting pastor.  Someone the school finds to financially back them.  This school in the fishing zone of Calalun, does not have a maren and it shows.  I talked to our group about being the maren for the school.  Not me- THEM!  We are going to take one haitian dollar (12 cents) and put it into an account for every pound of fish that I buy from them.  The money will be used to put orphaned and fatherless kids from their zone into school.  It will also be for the repairs and improvements.  I want to help them make this school the model for all of Montrouis.  We are going to stucko the building and paint it bright colors.  We are going to build benches and make them the size the kids need.  We are going to feed the kids in school- fish along with rice and beans.  And it will all be done with money that the fisherman earn and put aside to give back.

After I proposed the school plan that I thought was really good of me to model for them how they should give back.  They asked me for a favor.  They have not had any government electricity in their zone for 6 months.  The main transformer went out and the government power company does not replace them.  They want me to price a new transformer when I go to Port Au Prince and then they want to raise the money to buy one.  Any money they can't get from their poverty stricken neighbors, they are going to put in themselves to buy the new transformer to bring electricity back to their neighborhood.

We are still a long ways away from having the fishing ministry able to be sustained.  I can't buy all of their fish they catch.  I have set a weekly limit of how much I will buy from each fisherman but if they all catch that limit I am over may head financially.  But, we are seeing new ministries call every week to order fish for their programs and we are starting to have people from the U.S. want to send money to buy fish to give to our schools and the widows and other people in Montrouis that we support.  We are starting a website soon www.fish2feedhaiti.tv that will be used to help people get to know the fishermen personally and see the fishing season of Oct-Jan unfold and see how each fisherman does for the season.  I can tell you that I will personally fund the program until my retirement plan is drained if necessary because I have never seen one of my dollars change a life like they are in these guys.  We are helping women sell rice and beans to these guys now that they have money.  We are helping women open little stores to cater to the increased money flowing into the economy of Montrouis. We are working on getting other micro-business owners to tap into the system and start catering to the needs of the fishing industry here.  We see this as a platform for teaching business principles, financial principles, and life lessons to many of the people we have had trouble reaching in our area.

When Junior was leaving last night he hugged me, and although he is not a Christian yet, he told me that he truly believed God picked me up from the U.S. and put me in Montrouis to change his life.  What more could a lowly missionary ask for?

No Roll-Over Minutes

We had a missionary come to visit us today to talk about the fishing ministry.  They got to meet Judah, Jaxon, Jeanmoi, Jean Patrick, Justice, Kevin, and Michelet.  We also had about 10 of the kids we sponsor in school that had come over to hang out and play.  They asked about the eye clinics, and the mission, and Celebration Children's Home, and the various other things we are doing.  As they were leaving she looked at me and asked how we managed to do all of that.  She has been here for many years and knows the difficulties you face everyday.  I gave her the typical "God's Grace" answer and she left.





After she left I started thinking about that question.  It has been a tough week.  There has been times this week when I wanted to get on one of those little row boats and just head out to sea.  Joy has been gone almost 7 weeks now and does not know exactly when she'll get back.  She has been struggling having to handle everything herself in the U.S. on this trip.  We have had flooded rooms at the mission due to busted pipes.  We had a freezer go out and lost 200 pounds of fish.  I had to tell two of the women at the mission they had to move out due to unresolvable issues.  We found out a group of people we have been working with for a long time has been lying to us about a lot of important issues. Jaxon and Judah have a nasty case of oozing impetigo.  Kevin, our 3 year old with cerebral palsey has something going on and I can't figure out what.  He spends the nights writhing in pain and screaming.  I can't find the source of the pain or if it is some type of seizure.  He is doing that as I type right now.  I just have to hold him and pray.  I just took this picture as I had to stop typing to hold him. 

 

And I have just been spiritually weak and have lost a lot of mental and emotional battles within. 

But with all of that said, I know God is in control.  I know He can change all the circumstances in an instance. I know He forgives my failures and helps me to learn from them.  I know His grace truly does cover us and give us the desire and power to do His will.  We know everything is harder here.  The spiritual atmosphere is oppressive and small details become huge obstacles.  I know these things and cling to the truths of my faith to get me through.  And we get to see victory after victory as we press on.

As I thought about the question of how we get everything done in these working conditions I believe it is due to grace, unwavering belief in what we are doing, a sense of urgency, a focused passion, and the understanding that there are no roll-over minutes.  There are 24 hours in a day and we try to use every bit of them to advance God's kingdom because there are no roll-over minutes.  You can't save up the time and use it tomorrow.  All of it has to be used TODAY because after today all of those moments to invest in someone will be gone.

Now I know some of you are thinking "but if you over do it you will get burned out.  Slow and steady wins the race".  I believe that FABLE was never meant to be applied to the Christian life or Christian ministry.  Let me tell you how I see it.  The turtle did not "win" the race, the rabbit "lost" it.  The race was the rabbit's to lose.  He had all the skills and God given talents to win the race and be victorious. The rabbit was foolish and got distracted by things that don't matter.  The victory of the turtle had nothing to do with going slow and steady.  If the rabbit had just stayed the course he would have won by a mile.  We give the turtle way too much credit.  I believe the turtle would have experienced life if he had thrown off his shell and ran full speed like the rabbit. His diligence to stay on course would have not only let him win the race but do it with passion.  I don't want to be like the turtle or the rabbit.  I think way to many people already are.  Either they have the skills and God given talents to really be make a difference in the kingdom but they get distracted by things that don't matter.  They get off course and end up chasing after riches, success, comfort, security, acceptance, peacefulness, enjoyment, and the beautiful distractions of American Christianity so they don't run the race at hand. 

Then there are the turtles.  Why won't they throw off the shell?  Because it is a great place to hide.  It is secure and comfortable.  But against the swiftness of the rabbits they don't have a chance.  It would just take one rabbit staying on course and the turtles will never experience victory.  Paul says that we are in a race. "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." (I Cor. 9:4) "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Hebrews 12:1) He says throw off EVERYTHING that slows you down.  Not just sin.  EVERYTHING that slows you down and RUN.  Run, run, run, with a passion after whatever it is that God has placed in your heart to do to advance the Kingdom and wreck hell.  I pray everyday over my kids that they will be Hell wrecking world changers.  It's not easy and it's not safe, but it is all that is going to matter once THE race is finished.   Don't let anyone distract you- including friends and family.  "You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?" (Gal. 5:7)

The preachers that joined John Wesley in his work to preach the gospel to the world died at the average age of 35 years old.  They were burned out for Christ.  But they changed the face of the Christian world with their Methodism.  By grace, John himself lived to be 88.  But he cried in disappointment at the age of 86 when he could no longer spend 16 hours per day preaching and teaching.  There is a group in India that we pray for and help and they work 7 hours per day in a secular job and then spend 7 hours per day in evangelism and discipleship.  That's not slow and steady.  That's full bore, all out passionate pursuit of the One that all out, full bore, passionately pursued me when I was but a lowly sinner headed to the hell that I deserved.  He was not slow and steady.  My Jesus was passionate for saving me.  My Jesus was reckless in His pursuit of me.  How in the world can I be anything less in my pursuit of Him?

Blind as a Bat

It was once considered one of the most dangerous non-warzone areas on earth.  For 2 years the UN could not take control of the area from the drug lords armed with M-16's and 50 caliber machine guns they were given to them under the table by the former president.  Two square miles in which 100,000+ people share no electricity, running water, or sanitation.  Women are routinely raped and children abused and hundreds live in slavery.

The place is the infamous slum area on the perimeter of Port-au-Prince called Cite Soleil- City of the Sun.  Daphne was born in the heart of this hell on earth.  Her father died when she was young and her mother did the best she could to care for her and her siblings.  She got to go to school with the help of family.  Not every year but at 18 she was in the sixth grade.  Not bad for the kids in her zone.  But then she got sick.  She had trouble getting the energy to get out of bed.  She was always thirsty and hungry but only limited food and good water was available.  She started fainting and losing consciousness.  Her mom took her to the clinic but no one could find out what was wrong.  Most people thought someone had cursed her.  Then at age 19 she started losing her eyesight.  It was so frightening.  She prayed for God to heal her.  Her mom had raised her as a Christian and she knew God was powerful.  But her sight kept getting worse and the sickness too.

Finally she went to a little clinic that was too far to walk to.  Her mom took her in a tap tap- the taxis of Haiti.  The nurse there did some tests and determined she had sic- sugar or Juvenile diabetes.  By this time she was completely blind.

A few weeks ago we were doing eye screenings in that same clinic.  That is where I met Daphne.  She was led into my examining room and I was told by the nurse that it was probably a waste of time because she was blind and there was nothing that could be done.  I looked at Daphne and discovered her blindness is due to cataracts induced by her diabetes.  I asked if her diabetes was being controlled.  The nurse told me that they gave her oral medication but because of no refrigeration there was no way to do insulin.  Her blood sugar was staying around 5-600.  High enough to send her into a coma if she was not careful.  Definitely high enough to continue to destroy her.  All because at 20 years old she did not have a refrigerator.

Hey, I thought.  I have a refrigerator.  I have THREE refrigerators that run all the time due to the blessing of solar panels, and batteries, and inverters, and generators.  I have a bed too- Daphne slept on the floor in her hut in the slum.  I asked if I could talk to the family.  I told them the situation and how we could let Daphne- who weighs about 80 pounds due to her illness- come stay with us so we could buy and refrigerate her insulin and find someone to do eye surgery on her so she could possibly see again if the diabetes has not damaged other tissues inside her eyes.  The family could not believe it.  They praised God and thanked me.  We left with Daphne and took her to The Mission.

Daphne's blood sugar is still a work in progress but it is under 300 and most of the time closer to 200.  We are working on trying to get her cataract surgeries lined up.  I brought her to our house yesterday to spend the day with our kids here.  She loved putting her feet in the water at the ocean.

I asked Daphne what she missed the most about being blind.  I thought maybe the beauty of creation or being able to get around by herself.  She immediately answered it was the people's faces.  She said she missed seeing people.

God used that answer to speak to me.  I had laser vision correction before I left to come to Haiti.  I now see 20/20 without glasses or contacts or anything.  But so often I do not see "people's faces".  I see the pretty sunsets and beauty of the Haitian mountains.  I see the my kids running around and playing in the yard.  I see my work and the duties before me everyday as I do eye exams or work at The Mission or repair a broken generator.  I see the food we give away and the shoes and the clothes.  But do I really take the time to see the faces?

The faces are individuals.  But beyond that, the faces are a reflection of the heart.  The face shows the smile of happiness or the grimace of pain.  The face shows the lines of hard labor and the innocence of childhood.  Romans chapter 12 tells us to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice.  But do we look close enough at the faces to know?  That takes time.  That takes effort.  It's easier just to DO something than to really look into the face and desire in my heart to feel what they are feeling.  Do I REALLY want to hurt with these people?  I mean, I know I really want to help them.  But do I really want to HURT with them?  Do I really want to grieve with them?  Do I even want to rejoice with them?  I mean when it rains while I am trying to do a crusade that I put a lot of energy and time and money into putting it on...for God of course... and the storm rains us out and everyone is rejoicing because it means their crops will grow and that God is blessing them... but I am pouting because my plans were ruined...what does that say?  When it is easier for you to just give that beggar a dollar than to ask them about the circumstances that led them to that place of desperation.  The widow that goes home alone every Sunday after church is lonely.  Do you want to feel the depth of her loneliness?  The single mom at your office is so frustrated and confused, but her frustration is not your problem... or is it?

I let Daphne feel my face and she was surprised at my scraggly beard that Jacy Klaire tells me I had better shave before she gets home.  (She is 8 she has never seen me with a beard.)  I pray one day Daphne sees faces again.  I would venture to say she will not take them for granted.  I venture to say she will appreciate the gift of seeing faces.  The question is will I. 

I found this little guy clinging to a tree beside where we eat our meals.  He was only about 50 feet from his home but he had gotten caught out in the daylight for whatever reason.  

I have about a dozen of these huge ugly fruit bats that live right outside my window in a hole in an almond tree.  Every night right at dusk they all fly out and then go back in before light.  Their eyes are so good that they can see at night.  They also have other senses to help them navigate and catch prey but they have eyes that can see with just the smallest amount of light.  BUT, if they get caught outside during the morning hours and daylight, they can't see anything.  They are overwhelmed by the light.  When they are out of their element the very thing that allows them to see at night..a little bit of light... blinds them during the day because it is more than they can handle.

When I was in the U.S. the "need" of the people in Haiti was a good thing.  It helped me to see that I needed to step out of my self absorbed, comfortable, world pleasing, church enjoying, riches chasing, American dream of a life and do something radical out of love for others.  But once here that "need" sometimes blinds me.  I can't see the faces.  I am out of my element. I am overwhelmed.  I am blinded.  I like just a "little bit" of need.  Like my little bat friend wants just a little bit of light.  Too much and I end up hanging on the side of a tree only feet from where I want to be... in the comfort of my little hole...blind as a bat.